Who gets to define you – someone who loves you or someone who doesn’t? This was the question posed in a commercial for one of this morning’s televangelist church service programs. When I heard it I had to pick up my pen immediately and jot it down. What a profound question this is.
If we think about this idea of someone who doesn’t love us as someone else, someone external to ourselves, what thoughts come to mind? What is your immediate reaction? I personally get a little irritated and indignant, maybe even a bit angry. After all, who is this person who doesn’t love me and why do they have the right to define me, to set my aspirations, or to limit my potential? “How dare they” is my thought.
However, I tend to think about these two entities – the person who loves me and the person who doesn’t – as internal figures. And strangely enough a similar indignation, albeit a little less fiery, is present. Perhaps this is because I’m thinking and believing that the person inside me who doesn’t love me knows something more about me than a person who might be standing across the room from me does; perhaps my internal hater has some insider information that gives it more credibility. This is why that unloving voice in our head, the gremlin that tells us we aren’t good enough, can have so much authority over our lives and can define us, hobbling us and thwarting our hopes and dreams, holding us back from living our purpose and passion.
Who gets to define you – someone who loves you or someone who doesn’t? I’m not sure what direction the pastor who posed this question will follow in his message today, but here are some things to think about as you ponder this question for yourself: What does this question bring up inside of you? Should the person who defines you be an external entity or internal one? How would a loving being define you differently from the way and unloving one would? How are you currently being defined, and are you happy with this definition? And if you’re not happy with the definition of yourself, how can you use the answers to these questions to change that?
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